This is a simple practice you can do with your partner to help remove emotional stagnation which can blocks intimacy. Give it a shot and be amazed at the results!
1. Sit opposite your partner and take turns 5 min each to completely pour out all the things that are bugging you, don’t hold back or censor it in any way to protect the feelings of the other. The other person simply sits and listens to it all without judgement.
2. Then you change around and the other person lets out all their pent up emotions. Both do this until the charge is dissipated.
One of 2 things happen in this as you are saying all these things then sometimes you realise how ridiculous these judgements on your partner were, or that they are actually about a previous partner or your mother/father etc…
Or something actually sticks, you hear your partner put out a judgement and realise that is kind of true, I knew I did that but didn’t realise other people could see it – and you fess up to yourself.
Most important thing is while being the listening partner is not to try to respond or argue or interrupt the other, if what they are say is just projection it is OK, you don’t need to justify yourself to the other.
3. In the next part of the structure you then take turns to say all the things you love and appreciate about each other, all the little details, now it simply pours out as you have cleared the space for it to flow.